Thursday, November 30, 2006

Writing Sucks

I hate the way my writing sounds lately.

There was a time when I could spend an hour or two on a paragraph, a story, or poem or something; then give up for a while, but I always saved it. That way in case I had more inspiration a little later I could finish it. Not lately. I spent two hours this afternoon on a 'short creative piece' that was an assignment for an online class I'm taking. I reread it and then promptly hit delete and shut down the program.

I think my muse is pissed at me. Since I've been making an effort to drink less alcohol and more water, I'm guessing she is going through withdrawals.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Hard to find time

I'm not sure if it's age, or it could be that I don't eat right, and I don't exercise enough, but damn, I'm just lazy all the time. I find myself looking so forward to 10:00 and then absolutely coveting my sleep time. Today I've walked a mile and a half on the treadmill, and I did yoga along with a DVD since I missed last night's class. I had breakfast and I balanced the checkbook and I got my to do list going. I have the details of the offer I wrote last night all worked out and now I've got to go get signatures after lunch and then get it turned in. I have two things to do while I'm out, and then I've got the afternoon until about 6 to get the house cleaned. Dang, this house is an absolute pit, but I just can't seem to motivate myself to do what needs to be done! It's not like I don't have time, I just spend so much of that time doing what amounts to nothing! I'm kind of a mess, but actually today I feel better. Wallowing, that's what I'm doing. I sincerely hope that I can look back on these posts and see some kind of pattern, or sense. It certainly isn't apparent now! Oh yeah, Beezer is a problem again. With his DUI he seems to have sunk into a deeper depression. I'm not sure what to do about him. I'm thinking of telling his dad about the DUI. I'd hoped he'd tell him himself, but that's not happening.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

A scattered being...

Yes, I've already missed a day. Get over it. This is a post that I'm just writing for that aformentioned reason that I just want to get the back story down... There is absolutely no point to this at all.

On Sundays, I like to stay in bed, reading the newspaper, sipping nummy coffee and watching the CBS morning show. I want that cocoon-y feeling to last all day. Alas, I'm a Realtor and Sundays are our busiest day, and this Sunday was just that.

I knew I was going to show one client three houses that her husband had already seen. This was to be a cursory second showing just to make sure they were both on the same page. I forgot that not only are this couple not on the same page ever.... they are really not even reading the same book! So, what I thought would be 45 minutes turned into an hour and a half. This started to crush into the time I had set aside for my next showings of three houses to a young couple just starting their home search... but not seriously - that is until my ex-husband, the father of my oldest and most perplexing child Beezer called. A call from your ex, no matter how even keeled your relationship has become, can be stressful. Add to that, the fact that he's calling because your mutual son hasn't returned any of his calls... since MAY!

I've always tried to keep the whole split family thing to a minimum. I apply heavily the old addage 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.' Which does work, most of the time. I'm fairly pleased with the outcome of our 45 minute conversation, after which I called the call-delinquent son. "Please call your dad" I begged. "OK, but I'm just going into a meeting." he said, none too convincingly. I cajoled, he demurred, I repeated, he begged off. So, 4 hours later, I have no idea where things stand.

Like I said, there's no point whatsoever to this post.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I come up empty

I'm enrolled in a creative writing course... I pledged to the all knowing unseen Internet gods that I'd post once daily...which by the way was my reasoning for creating a blog in the first place. So you'd think that I'd have this, these, committments topmost on my mind - but noooooo! Having said that you'd think I'd blame the oftimes aforementioned hormonal fluctuations, or at the very least, blame the on-call-ness of being a Realtor (with a capital R), no that's not it either. Perhaps the fact that a well-loved person from my office just succumbed to the swift yet painful death sentence of ovarian cancer - and still, I can't even claim that as reason for my lack of post. No, it's more mercurial than that, and yet, not worthy of a word like mercurial. I'm afraid it is the force I dare not name and yet.... I must name. Alas it is - Laziness.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Oh, I had to sign up to blog every day...

OK, well, it's been one of those Realtor/Mommy/Wife/Oh-yeah-i'm-also-a-person-in-here-somewhere Days!

The house is a pit, and I woke up this morning with what I thought was a clear day. So thinking I had no committments, I started picking up. Ooops, I've got a meeting at 9:30... yikes, it's 8:30 now... OK, I can shower and get there... don't forget dog food and bird seed! After the meeting, dealt with customer issues until 12:30. Downtown Dad calls, 'wanna go to lunch?' 'sure' phone calls through lunch, finally resolve issues, kids call, 'mom, where are you?' go home, dole out money, help with homework, check to see if all the ingredients are there for dinner.... run back out to yoga... back home, fix dinner, sit down to eat it and have a glass of wine - aw man, I didn't get the dog food and bird seed....Yikes, I have to post a blog a day! Whew.