Saturday, January 12, 2008

For Men - The Nine Phrases Women Use, Explained

  1. "Fine" This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you just need to shut up.
  2. "Five Minutes" If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. "Five Minutes" is only "five" minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. "Nothing" This is the calm before the storm. This means "Something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine."
  4. "Go Ahead" This is a dare, not permission. Do NOT Do It!
  5. "A Loud Sigh" This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about "Nothing." (See # 3 for the meaning of "Nothing.")
  6. "That's Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's Okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. "Thanks" A woman is thanking you, do not question it. Just say You're Welcome. (Disclaimer: This is true, unless she says "Thanks A Lot," which is PURE sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. In this case, DO NOT say "You're Welcome" that will only bring on a "Whatever" See #8).
  8. "Whatever" This is a women's way of saying "Are You That Incredibly Stupid?" You have made a fatal error!
  9. "Don't Worry About It, I've Got It" Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in the man asking "What's Wrong?" to which the woman's understandable response would be "Nothing" (See # 3).

Thanks for this post goes to my BFF and fellow fifty-year-old Kimisue, who does not have a blog, but does read this one, but rarely, if ever, comments - to which I say "That's Okay"

8 comments:

bipolarlawyercook said...

"Five minutes." *Snort* Too bad I have to work on a glacial pace-- "you have to have all the dishes done by Sunday." He considers anything less than 48 hours short notice.

Sunshine said...

Can you print this off and laminate for wallet-size?? I think you'd sell a lot of them to wives who want to give to hubby for reference. #9 is way overused around here!!! :)

Josie said...

Linda, I LOVE this. It's wonderful. My favorite is "That's okay". I use that one a lot. A lot. When I say, "That's okay", people know to be very, very careful, especially if I say it quietly. Heh.

Cathy said...

Hi Linda, I followed your comment from my blog over here. You have a really nice blog. Also, I wanted to thank you for visiting mine.

There is a misunderstanding in your comment. You implied that I wasn't an American, probably because of that Irish redhead statement at the top of my blog. I am totally from the US. I was born in Ohio in 1952 and have lived all my years in the same city and state. My grand parents were from West Ireland but came here when they were very young. I did however, get my grandmothers and mother's Irish red hair. I have never even been to Ireland, but I would love to one day go there and look into my family history.

Sorry it took me so long to answer you, but I had been in the hospital for most of the last week and just read your comment.

Dottie said...

Great blog! Found you through Cariboo Ponderer.. This was a funny post as well. I think I'm particularly good at "Nothing" and "That's Okay" :)

Mauigirl said...

This was a great post, and all too true, as I'm sure my husband would testify!

Nora Bee said...

I'm totally a user of "Go Ahead." I think it took my husband a few times to learn NOT to go ahead when I say that. We learn, eh?

Robinella said...

So funny. I am writing a short series and just have to link this in my last post on Thursday.